SEPTEMBER 2025VALIDATING MY MIND
“Noticing has never been about overthinking. It has always been about understanding in a way that matters.”
I’ve always had a mind that notices things early.
Picks up patterns, reads energy, catches shifts before they’re obvious.
Sometimes it notices before I even know what to do with it.
That’s just the way my mind works, attentive, a little ahead of the moment.
When I celebrated my 8th anniversary recently, it brought me back to my wedding day. I’ll never forget my dad speaking about me in the third person, saying I was a good judge of character. Hearing that from someone so close felt surprising and grounding. It was a subtle recognition of what my mind had been doing all along—and in that moment, it became more real to me.
A big part of why this matters to me now is my children. As a parent, I want to really understand them—their minds, their interactions, what makes them different. But I know that means I must take the time to understand my own mind first.
I need to know how I operate, how I notice, how I process. That awareness helps me support them and hold space for their own ways of thinking. It’s not about changing myself, just understanding.
I’ve learned that when I can see my patterns clearly, I can separate what’s simply how my mind works from what might need adjusting. And with that clarity, I can do more of what works, and less of what doesn’t.
“Working on my own mental muscle allows me to show up with more presence for the people I love.”
I need to know how I operate, how I notice, how I process. That awareness helps me support them and hold space for their own ways of thinking. It’s not about changing myself, just understanding.
I’ve learned that when I can see my patterns clearly, I can separate what’s simply how my mind works from what might need adjusting. And with that clarity, I can do more of what works, and less of what doesn’t.
“Our minds don’t easily forget what they’ve seen, felt, or carried along the way.”
Lately, I’ve found myself wondering how this shows up for other people. What patterns do they notice first? How do they reflect, name their instincts, or make sense of their thinking?
It probably doesn’t look like mine. But that curiosity—the pausing, the reflecting, the learning—feels like a skill worth holding onto.
- Reni Adebayo
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